Wonderfully interesting piece concerning good old Stratford upon Avon and its problem with Canada geese on Midlands Today (TV) yesterday. (Zzzzzzzzzzzz).
Did you know Canada geese deposit something like 2lbs of birdy doo-doo every day?
No neither did I.
Apparently these feathery foreign types refuse to defecate in the water like any decent bird and insist on leaving their mucky stuff strewn willy-nilly over Stratford’s river walkways. Very dangerous. Lots of little green accidents waiting to happen. [Thinks; These creatures must be the most useless of the feathery world. You can't eat them and their waste is no good for the garden. What's the point of Canada geese I ask myself?]
But wait. All is not lost. According to Midlands Today, a dog is to be trained to keep these nuisance birds on the move. Hurrah.
Hang on...wait a sec...where’s the dog going to do his business that’s what I want to know? Unless the brains behind this innovative scheme (I bet it's the Council) supply their furry friend with a portaloo I don’t see the point. If there was a competition between dog-poo and Canadian geese-poo I know what I’d vote for.
And talking of shit. Midlands Today is the worst TV news programme I think I have ever seen. A real life Alan Partridge concoction if ever I saw one and worth watching for that very reason.
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Showing posts with label news. Show all posts
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Lord knows I needed something to have good old chortle at this morning and thanks to my favourite newspaper there it was, front page news.
It seems, according to Town Councillor Bill Lowe (Prosecution), that during the building of *Studley Swimming Pool the builders forgot, wait for it, the builders forgot, hang on let me get my breath here, the builders forgot to…to water-proof it.
Cllr Lowe, (by an amazing coincidence an ex-swimming pool engineer) alleges…
‘The water membrane was not installed. If it was not done then tiles would fall off. Tiles did fall off’.
He goes on to allege another amazing oversight…
’The water membrane was not put in the contract specification’.
Greengrass pauses to hold aching sides. Head swimming (no pun intended). Vision cloudy.
Cllr Juliet Short (for the Defence and portfolio holder for leisure services) replies…
’I can’t comment…There is a full investigation underway…I don’t want anything swept under the carpet’…(including herself it would seem, as she finally promises that)…’I will not adhere to anything being swept under the carpet’. The goodness for that we'd hate to lose you.
Collapse of Lawn Greengrass holding sides and hysterical.
Begins to bleed heavily from nose and mouth after learning that the Studley swimming pool debacle has so far, lost £600,000 of tax-payers hard-earned spondolicks.
It seems, according to Town Councillor Bill Lowe (Prosecution), that during the building of *Studley Swimming Pool the builders forgot, wait for it, the builders forgot, hang on let me get my breath here, the builders forgot to…to water-proof it.
Cllr Lowe, (by an amazing coincidence an ex-swimming pool engineer) alleges…
‘The water membrane was not installed. If it was not done then tiles would fall off. Tiles did fall off’.
He goes on to allege another amazing oversight…
’The water membrane was not put in the contract specification’.
Greengrass pauses to hold aching sides. Head swimming (no pun intended). Vision cloudy.
Cllr Juliet Short (for the Defence and portfolio holder for leisure services) replies…
’I can’t comment…There is a full investigation underway…I don’t want anything swept under the carpet’…(including herself it would seem, as she finally promises that)…’I will not adhere to anything being swept under the carpet’. The goodness for that we'd hate to lose you.
Collapse of Lawn Greengrass holding sides and hysterical.
Begins to bleed heavily from nose and mouth after learning that the Studley swimming pool debacle has so far, lost £600,000 of tax-payers hard-earned spondolicks.
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